Unforeseen Circumstances

Unfortunately there is going to be a massive delay in me getting any posts to you all today or tomorrow or maybe even Monday because my laptop has gone in for repair and I can't rely on my phone to run this blog.

Hopefully it will all be better by next Saturday and we can return to the normal schedule, but I will try to keep you updated. I still haven't decided what to write for Sociology Sunday so I guess this is kind of a blessing in disguise for me... *wink*

However the next Confidence post will be all about appreciating the face and the next "wild card Monday" should be about me leaving work.

Until then, I hope you all have a wonderful week,

Speak soon,

Stephanie

University!!! *Wilhelm Scream*

So I recently, like most 18 year olds in England, received my A level results and they were good, not amazing, but good enough. I got my place at Bangor University in North Wales where I also got a scholarship. All good things. I've spoken to some of my future fresher friends and overall I feel really good about the experience and the journey I am about to embark on. However, there are some things I have been doing that are stressful, but totally worth the effort before arriving in Bangor.


Tip number one: So the first thing I have done is compile a list of things to take with me to University, this has been, probably, the longest I've spent doing a single thing for Uni, but I wanted to make sure I would have everything together for the first day and that I wouldn't have any problems with a last minute rush to the shops before I can party like the fresher I am. Luckily my mum has been great and she has let me pick things out and we have slowly built up a collection of things to take to University with me.


Tip number two: Buy things in advance, non-perishables that can be packed up into boxes.

Tip number three: Make a list of things you want to buy upon arrival at the University e.g. food essentials.

Tip number four: I wish someone had warned me that maintenance loans and grants don't arrive in your bank account as soon as you begin. I, for example, have a week where I will have to rely on my own money. Luckily my accommodation money doesn't have to be in for a week either otherwise I would be screwed.

In terms of money, I am terrified I will spend too much on pointless things like clubbing and drinking and then have none left for food. My mother has promised me she will not let this happen, but, as I previously mentioned, we are a working class family and as such, we don't have much money to spare so I will be relying on government support (I can hear the Tory cries in the wind). Because of this I have been looking into different back account options as I, personally, may need to make use of an interest free overdraft.

Tip number five: Research bank accounts. So many of them will offer you freebies, but, you need to look beyond that. Whilst a free £60 gift card for Amazon seems like a good deal, it may not be exactly what you're after. So do as much research as possible into your card. (For UK residence I recommend going with Santander or HSBC) and don't forget, you can switch accounts at any time so don't feel like you have to stay with one bank forever.

Tip number six: Work out your budget before you leave. I am in the process of working out how much money I need for food, how much I need for accommodation and how much I will need to visit family during holidays. (train and coach fares for example) I think a good thing to do is make a list and then you know exactly how much you can spend on alcohol and parties etc.

Tip number seven: Ask for help. I spent ages thinking I would come across as silly or immature or codependent if I asked my mum or dad to drive me to University or if I asked them for advice. In fact I still get a little bit defensive and just yesterday told my mum she was treating me like a child and lecturing me where I didn't need it. But I do need help sometimes, I've never had to look after my own finances before. I'm quite an independent person, but this is a scary, new experience for not just me, but many others. No question is too stupid or too ridiculous, ask for the help, it is there if you need it.

And that's all the help I can offer at the moment, I want to keep offering help and tell you stories of my time as a fresher at Uni so expect some more Uni related posts, but for now, if you are heading into University remember to stay safe, stay calm and prepare!

Until next time,

Stephanie

Sociology Sundays: Marxism and Toy Story

Let it be known that I am a huge fan of Pixar, in fact, as I write this I am sitting in some Finding Nemo PJs and I have to say, the Toy Story trilogy is very much my favourite group of movies that exist, but there are some very interesting moments in it that I think Karl Marx might have a problem with. And being the loser that I am I will be combining two things I love, Marxism and Toy Story and telling you what Marx might say about this childhood classic.


The first thing we need to do is work out how the class system works within Andy's room. Whilst Andy and humans in general would be the obvious choice for ruling class it's also interesting to look at the dynamic between the toys so I will be splitting this into two sections. The Toys and The Humans.

THE TOYS

Firstly we should look at the main character, Woody, Woody is in a position of power, he runs Andy's room, and it all seems to be going well. From what we can tell, Woody runs the room because he is Andy's favourite. This is almost like the "god given right" Kings and Queens were bestowed in order to run a country. At first glance we would assume Marx would label this a bad thing, like he does with god given rights etc. however, I don't believe that it is as simple as that.

Whilst it is entirely possible to consider Woody a "Kingly" figure and Andy the "god-like" figure, the fact that it is okay for the rest of the toys, who all seem equal in their ranking after Woody, it could be looked at as a near-communist society with one person in power. This is, obviously, something Karl Marx would be close to liking.

If we also take into consideration that Buzz finds his way to the top very quickly and all the other toys migrate to like him we could argue that it is the choice of the "lower class" and, therefore, it is more of a chosen leader, rather than assigned. Woody is no more likely to be in charge than, say, Mr Potato Head, or Hamm, it is all to do with how the other toys perceive Woody.

Woody has also, it is assumed, been around longer than the other toys, which makes him more experienced, now whilst I am not 100% sure on Marx's opinion of electing the smartest person to lead a group, I know that Gramsci, is definitely all for "counter-hegemonic blocs" which means a group of in the know "working class" people using their smarts to overrule the oppressive 1%.

However, the only time where is it 100% clear who the oppressive toy is, is in the third movie with Lotso. He is a dictator with a group that do all the work for him in oppressing all the toys who step out of line, using devices such as CCTV, Prison and even torture (the sandbox). This is, personally, one of the best aspects of Toy Story 3 and, of course we get the brilliant line from "Marxist Barbie"...

THE HUMANS

As I mentioned before, within Andy's Room the Toys appear to be happy to be ruled over by Andy, he is like a God to them, someone they look up to and rely on, even after he has thrown out a lot of the toys. Heck Woody loses the his love interest, Bo Peep all because Andy grew too old for her, but Woody looks up to Andy in a way that this doesn't deter him at all. This is something Marx hated. He hated religion, he called it "the opium of the people" because it was and is something that some people blindly follow even if they don't agree with everything they are doing. It is something, according to Marx, that wealthy people created to keep the poor subdued. Lenin called it "spiritual gin" and this seems to be the case for Woody and his friends. They all follow Andy or Bonnie (presumably) no matter what. Heck, Jessie was cast aside by Emily and even she eventually gave into another human.

What Woody does with Sid is a perfect example of a revolution from the "underclass" the toys all group together to prevent another injustice being done aka the killing of one of their kind. This, to me, is amazing, it is exactly what Marx wants from all the working class people in the world and it is exactly what I want to see in my favourite movie series of all time. 

Thanks Pixar for introducing adult themes into kids movies, they have influenced me so much in my interest in politics and other issues like pollution, bravery, and feminism. (See Wall.E, Monsters Inc, and Brave)

So yeah, there are a few thoughts I had about Toy Story, this was fun for me, I basically got to combine two of my favourite things.

I haven't decided on a topic for next week so let me know what you would like to see and I will give it a go.

Until next time,

Stephanie

Confidence Series: Skincare

It took me a long time to realise that caring for my skin would make me feel completely different about myself. I have combination skin in that it can get very oily around my T-Zone and it can also get very dry around my eyebrows and beside my nostrils. Growing up I was lucky that the combination cancelled each other out very well and I suffered from little to no skin problems at all.

When I finished going through puberty my skin started to get more spots. I had, naively assumed that my skin would not get bad because I was through puberty. I was wrong, and I didn't help it by getting the ugliest full fringe I could possibly get. What this meant was I began getting a lot more spots due to the speed with which my fringe got greasy and by the sheer oil build up on my face.

I began to combat it with the clean and clear exfoliating scrub, but it didn't really work well because I could not be bothered to do it every night along with everything else and when I was busy I forgot and my skin went to shit again, but I bring good news... I have found ones that do not require rinsing which means I can just get some cotton wool pads and wipe my face clean without leaving my bed. And if I'm running late I can take the items with me... Of course, that's if I don't want to do makeup before I leave.

My treatment now consists of using: Garnier Micellar Cleansing Water to remove make-up; Clean and Clear deep cleansing lotion; Clean and Clear blackhead clearing cleanser; and Nivea Toner. I genuinely felt a difference after one treatment. (This isn't sponsored by the way, but if any of these companies want to hit me up I am not opposed to it)

Moisturising is also something I don't have the time for and... confession time, I don't currently use a moisturiser, although it is next on my list of things to introduce to my daily routine.

So tip number one: Find a skin care treatment that suits your schedule and your needs. (Toner is a must have in my opinion, it makes your pores smaller and less prone to blackheads)

This has made me feel better about not wearing makeup and actually it has made me feel better at wearing make-up which was a surprise to me, but the make-up looks better on skin with smaller pores and smoother skin.

That is the perfect segway onto the next topic: makeup. As I have discussed before, makeup is just something fun for me to do when I have half an hour to spare in the morning or for if I want to look extra hot for a night out. And like I have discussed previously, I used to feel like I had to wear make-up and I used to think the only way to feel good about myself was to wear make-up.

It was quite easy for me to get comfortable not wearing make-up. What I chose to do to help me feel more confident in my skin and with my face was to not wear it for a weekend when I knew I wasn't going anywhere. And I mean I stayed at home all weekend, I only went out to the shops once and I felt okay about what I had done, then I went a whole week without make-up and that meant going to school. (If you are more attached to make-up than I am then try lessening the amount you wear for a few days until you feel ready, this is all about you feeling comfortable) Soon I found myself enjoying having more sleep and not worrying about look 100% all the time. It's stressful, and most people didn't notice, or they at least didn't say anything. I received a few "you look tired" comments, but soon no one said anything and I felt great.

Now I wear make-up more again because I enjoy the process of putting it on and I enjoy trying out new products. The only other thing I can suggest in terms of make-up is to not use make-up wipes to remove it because they can increase oil build up or decrease moisture. (Of course they are still better than nothing so use them if nothing else is on hand) And also, just have fun, make-up hasn't always been a thing and I'm sure there will come a time where it is less expected of women to always wear it.

Tip two is: Have fun with make-up and take care in removing it!

The final thing I want to discuss with you in terms of skincare is to remember that it's your skin and no one else can really have any power over it other than you and if you have a few spots or imperfections, just rock them, most people get face spots and most people understand that sometimes you need to let them be free from make-up.

Of course I can't comment on birthmarks as I wasn't born with any significant one's on my face, but I would love to hear any other tips you guys have, and any products you think I should try out!

To get more comfortable with my skin I did that stereotypical thing of looking in a mirror and identifying parts of my skin that looked good. Like the little freckles I have over my shoulders. I also recommend being naked with yourself. I know that might seem taboo to talk about on a blog that I know my friends and family read, but I feel it's important to be as confident as you can about aspects of your own body and one way to do that is to be naked (As it was intended *ding*)

Tip three, therefore, is: Love yourself and the skin you're in and embrace parts of yourself you find difficult to live with!

That's all for now, next week's installment of the Confidence Series will be about the face in general and how to feel good about your overall face area.

Until next time,

Stephanie

The Devil's Drink (Alcohol)

By "drinking" I do mean alcohol so to clarify, I am 18 years old which is the legal drinking limit in the UK where I live. Okay, that's that out of the way... I'd show you my ID, but I forgot it so "Please bartender pretend I did show you". For real though I am 18.

Right, so I'm not going to lie I had had alcohol before I turned 18 *pause for gasp*. My mum let me have babycham at Christmas and New Years every year from the age of 10. And of course she would rather I tried alcohol at home where nothing bad could happen so at the age of 15 I had a couple of glasses of wine with meals, cider when I felt classy, and beer (which I can't stand, but is good for drinking when I want to pace myself). As well as this I did go to a couple of parties where there was alcohol before I was 18, but I totally never drank any as that would be irresponsible. Especially never drank vodka straight, that's just downright dangerous... *cough*

Anyway, so by the time I turned 18 I already had the base foundation for drinking. I knew what I liked and didn't like and I was ready to go to pubs and bars with friends and choose drinks like the connoisseur I thought I was... Wrong! I quickly realised that my experimentation with drinks was just the tip of my scotch on the rocks (geddit, because iceberg... rocks=ice...  Oh how I amuse myself)

Currently my favourite drink is a rum and coke on the rocks with a lovely straw to protect my teeth with are sensitive and I don't want to discolour them anymore than they already are from coffee etc. (I'm British, we have bad teeth, it's in our nature)

Here are some pictures of the making of a rum and coke on the rocks with said straw:

But I know when reading something about alcohol all you really want are some funny stories... Okay here we go...

So the best story I guess is the time I was at my first house party... I didn't really know how to behave at one of these and it was my first time getting drunk. I did the usual, cry drunk, kiss people drunk, tell friends I love them, you know very typical, but there is one story I tell everyone from that night.

It was the first time I had met a lot of people at that party, I only really knew the host and three others, but I mingled and did the above. And then I was sitting next to this guy (who is now a great friend of mine) who for my safety (he will kill me if I attach his name to this story) we will call... Robert. So I was sitting in between Robert and this other girl talking to someone else when Robert, only an hour or two after meeting me empties his stomach onto my lap before passing out. It was bright pink vomit and it smelled so bad. I obviously made sure he was okay, let others deal with him properly and then went to clear myself up.

He, the next day, apologised to me time and time again and, of course, like the wonderful person I am, I forgave him. And, like the horrible person I am, I also hold it over him every time I do something bad to him... Like the time I got drunk and threw water over him... Oh god, I hate hindsight.

But yeah, now I'm one year older (practically a different person) I do handle my drink better (or at least I have at the most recent parties I have been to) and I no longer cry for hours on the floor or under a table with people telling me it's fine and basically ruining party atmospheres.

(Of course the funniest story is the time I went to stand up and fell straight back over and practically belly-flopped the concrete whilst my friend Marnie who is half the size of me in both height and weight tried to help me back up)

So yeah, drink responsibly, there's nothing wring with enjoying a night of drinking and making mistakes as long as no one takes advantage of you in your situation and you have fun. (Just don't do anything illegal like drink driving or anything like that)

Let me know if you have any funny drinking stories or what your favourite drink is in the comments below (If your not of legal drinking age then I'm sorry, this post isn't as relatable, but at least you can laugh at my misery.

Until next time,

Stephanie

Confidence Series: Introduction

I will be starting a new series where I discuss my journey on the path to confidence in myself and in my actions and thoughts. I was never a very confident person. After suffering with depression and anxiety in silence for so many years I hoarded a lot of self hate and found it was way easier for me to beat myself up over things than let someone else do it for me. (which they still did, as discussed in a previous post I was bullied).

It hurt less when they did it because they were just confirming what I already know, but I'm getting better now, my confidence has probably tripled by now and it only grows each day. And I want to make note of this journey I've been on and maybe impart some wisdom on the way so join me, if you will, and see what I have to say on the topic.

I look forward to seeing your responses to the first post which will be going up on Friday 14th at 8pm GMT. (So that's London time)

Until then,

Stephanie

The Sociologist Series: Marxism and Schooling

I don't know if I ever mentioned this, but I have been studying sociology for four years and one topic that interests me more than almost anything else is looking at our education system and looking at the way others perceive it. I will warn you now that because of this I have created my own bias towards these topics which, for me at least, are justified. That being said I am always open to new ideas, but for now I will just write what I know.

Marxists are, perhaps, my favourite group of sociologists, from Althusser to Zaretsky (see what I did there?) and I find the Marxist approach to education particularly enthralling. I don't know what it is about their approaches, but they all make so much sense to me.

An outline of the Marxist perspective on education:

So Marxists believe that society is split into two classes, the working class and the ruling class. The ruling class are the richest people who run businesses etc. and the working class are... well workers, they work for minimum wage and are, according to Marxists, oppressed. This translates into the school system as well. With public and private schools running alongside one another there are bound to be a few children with a better chance in life than others. As well as this parents with more money are able to provide essential and non-essential items to help their children out with homework and they can provide tutors when their child is doing less well in certain subjects.

Whilst there are a few exceptions to this rule it's very rare that a child from a very low income family will be able to break through these barriers. It's not just a money issue, working class families have less interest in schooling because their parents and their parents before them etc. "got on fine without school". They can live without any qualifications and for them, school was a place where the richer kids were treated better... and the thing is, they're not wrong.

Sociologists Rosenthal and Jacobson, and Cicourel and Kitsuse all discovered evidence of "teacher labelling" in schools. They found that teachers labelled their students as "bright" or "stupid" based on their behaviour and willingness to participate.  The teachers would then treat the "brighter" students with more respect and lend them more help whilst the "stupid" ones were often treated as a nuisance.

But why do teachers do this?

One reason for teachers having to catagorise students is that they have to achieve an average grade score. Much like students, teachers have targets they have to reach in order to keep their jobs. For this reason they tend to leave the students who comfortably sit on the A/B border to work for themselves and leave those deemed "not salvageable" at D/E/F and focus all their attention on those on the C/D border to get more students to the average of a C. Because they have these goals it can be very difficult for a teacher to remain neutral with their students.

Another reason is just a general bias, yes "not all teachers" do this intentionally, but I'm about 90% sure that most teachers are human and humans have a bias on almost everything they come into contact with.  Even though I'm sure most teachers attempt neutrality it's not always possible. A teacher is likely to take in the overall attitude, appearance, and lifestyle (yes some schools do disclose personal information like children on benefit) and they definitely know if you are on free school meals, and they can then make judgements of the students and treat them accordingly. For example, if you turn up with messy hair, a stain on your shirt, are late for any reason, and have free school meals a teacher might class you as unkempt, lazy, and, if they hold the anti-poor bias that some middle class people do, they might even think being poor is wrong and you are just mooching off the government and "living off their tax money". This can result in poor treatment, less help and being ignored.

All of this is a vicious cycle and one that Marxists have pointed out on several occasions (much to the dismay of the government who hate to admit that there is a huge gap between the wealthy or well off and the poor)

Anyway, I truly could ramble on about this for days on end, but I won't. If you are interested in anymore information on Marxists and education I can recommend reading some of the scholarly articles on google here:

https://scholar.google.co.uk/scholar?q=sociology+of+education+marxist+perspective&btnG=&hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&as_vis=1

That's it for today, let me know in the comments what you think,

Until next time,

Stephanie

Falling Back in Love with Reading

It feels great to be able to say that I am back in the swing of things and reading and buying books after nearly two years of suffering with "reader's block"! It was terrible, I just couldn't get into any of the books I wanted to read or any that I had to read for my college course. (My friend Shannon has more than a couple of things to say about my lack of reading of The Great Gatsby)

Recently I went into town with my friend Glenn and bought so many books and I can't wait to read them all. I've started with something really easy to read, no plot, just a book full of advice. It's called "Life with a Sprinkle of Glitter" by a Youtuber called Louise Pentland. It's not that intellectually stimulating, but it has given me lots of great advice for University.

My next book will probably be Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn which is highly recommended by almost everyone, but especially my good friends Rachael and Shannon who keep talking about it and I'm getting serious FOMO so I am definitely going to read it before the end of the year.

I tell myself the reason I fell out of love with reading was just a combination of the time I was putting into College and work instead of trying to relax every now and then, and it has just been very difficult for me to find books that really entice me and it's made me very sad. (Reading was always something that provided me with so much warmth and comfort.)

But I think the real reason, if I'm honest with myself, is the bout of depression I have been suffering with. They say when you suffer with anxiety and depression you stop doing things you enjoy, or find little joy in them anymore, and I think that's true, for me anyway. I know depression is different for everyone.

When I came home from my time in town with my friend Glenn I just took a moment to look at the books, not even reading any of them, just flicking through the pages and feeling the rough paper against my fingertips. And the smell, I forgot how good books can smell, for me, they smell like home. I can't wait to lose myself in their pages, forget I'm turning them and forget the words I'm reading and just live in the story. I've missed that feeling so much and I have only just realised it, but now I am excited, excited to welcome back the part of my life I regret losing the most through this terrible dark time.

I can't for sure say that this won't happen again, but I hope more than anything that it doesn't, I am already leaving that place behind me and, with the next adventure of my life being University, and the distance I am planning on going for it, hopefully this can be a fresh start for me and my books.

Okay this has gotten seriously soppy now so I think I am going to leave it here and go and finish Life with a Sprinkle of Glitter so I can move onto the next book.

As always let me know what you think of this post and please recommend some of your favourite books to me so I can buy more of them!

Until next time,

Stephanie.