Dear 10 year old me,
This is a warning.
You're about to go into Secondary school and only one of your friends from Primary school will be joining you. This makes you happy, but you don't know what's to come. You and she drift apart, it's not something that bothers you anymore, but at the time it sucked so much, you thought that was what would eventually happen to all of your friendships, but I promise it doesn't.
You make it through the first half of your first year with an abundance of friends, you have never been this popular before, almost everyone in your classes seems to get along with you and you have a nice big group of friends who seem to care for you, you even get a boyfriend (he turns out to bat for the other team, but you're still really good friends with him), everything seems to be going so well for you, but it wasn't destined to last. One by one you lose friends and you lose faith in the people around you ever liking you from the start.
Then the bullying starts. Everyone is turning against you, people you once called best friends, people you held on such high pedestals it's hardly surprising you fell when they did. By the end of your first year you only have one friend. But you don't mind because she is a good friend. It's the bullying that gets to you. It's relentless, you consider calling in sick, feigning an illness so terrible you never have to see those people again, but you love school so much that you keep going, no matter what you have to learn because that spark in you is still there.
But I have some bad news for you, you turn into a bitch, you pick on those less fortunate than you because you don't yet realise that you can be better than them and take the high road. You harbour all your hate for these bullies and you force others to endure that hatred, you feel better for a split second, it means someone else understands how you feel, but then you feel guilty because you feel like shit and to realise that you made someone else feel this way makes it feel like a knife is being stabbed into your stomach and twisted round and round until there's nothing left. But you don't learn until much later.
Second year ends and you still only have one friend, but you enjoy your summer with your family, always with your family, never with friends. And when you return for your third year, that one friend you held onto through the bullying, stops talking to you. You don't know why and you begin writing lists of reasons someone could hate you, but reading back on them you realise these are just reasons you hate yourself and you do, you think you need others to justify your happiness. You cry out for a friend and one day...someone hears you.
You begin with one friend that you make in science class and through them you meet more and more people. It took you a while, but you got there again.
In fourth year one friend in particular becomes someone very dear to you and you have to admire her because she has forgiven you for all the shit you unloaded onto her in second year. There isn't a day that goes by that you don't thank your lucky stars to have found her because she inspires you everyday to be ruthless in dealing with terrible, poisonous people, and you used to be one of them for her. She slays you and all your faves. (And I'm sure she'll love reading this, I do hate being this sentimental)
Secondary school, for this reason, is both the best and worst part of your life so far. A lot of me thinks it's the reason you're still messed up emotionally (you were way worse until about a month ago).
And that's really what this letter is about, to remind myself and other people that it does get better. I've definitely taken myself to dark places that I thought I would never get out of, but a small group of people have helped me overcome this terrible sadness that loomed over me and I really want to credit them, but I don't want to do it on here in such an impersonal way. I hope you know who you are, whether it's comforting me when I drink and cry, when I sober cry, when I need a laugh, or just don't want to be alone, you all sit with me, invite me over for movie nights and just make my days brighter.
I love you all, and to 10 year old me I say, from this position I'm in now, I wouldn't change a thing because without those shitty years, you might not be where you are today.
Until next time,
Stephanie
Monday 27 July 2015
Head's up...
The next post is in a very different format, and it is another honest personal one, very much like my "Relationship with a Working Mother" this one will be called "Dear 10 Year Old Me" and it is a letter to myself when I was ten... 8 years ago... wow! So yeah, be prepared and let me know if it's not a style you like or whatever.
See you in a bit,
Stephanie
See you in a bit,
Stephanie
The Sociologist Series: Feminism and Women in Music
For a long time now more and more women have been making their way onto the charts and have been winning big time at award shows for music. Despite this growing representation of women in this section of the media, is there an institutionalised sexism in the music industry?
The first thing I should mention is that I am not in any way musically inclined, I only listen to what's on the radio and I am a massive mainstream pop fan because I love singing and dancing and that genre is easy to listen to, sing to and dance to, but I feel like for this topic it is the only section of music that is a necessity for me to look at as this is the music that every generation will hear when they are driving in their cars, shopping, or just watching tv.
The first female artist I want to look at is Nicki Minaj. Nicki Minaj is, perhaps, the most successful female rapper in history, for this reason she gets a lot of negative comments. Your basic "She can't sing" "So much autotune" "She's not as good as [insert male rappers name here]", but she also gets called a "bitch" for demanding respect from those around her and she is called a "slut" because apparently she is fucking every other male artist out there. This is the kind of abuse that someone like Drake or Lil' Wayne or Eminem would never suffer from. (Literally the only male artists I can name off the top of my head) They don't suffer this kind of abuse because if they slept with multiple women or had them gyrating against them in music videos (which they do) they are players, they are male role models. If one of them demands respect they are given the respect they crave. Nicki isn't. And Nicki knows that. In this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzGZamtlRP0) she talks about the sexism against her in the industry she has chosen to go into. (I will not be mentioning the recent spat with Taylor when talking about Minaj's career and experiences as a woman because Minaj's problem was not about gender, it was about body image and race)
However, speaking about Taylor Swift we can mention this spat. In case you haven't heard Minaj
tweeted about the unjust nominations for the VMA's Music Video of the Year. Minaj's Anaconda was snubbed for the award despite it breaking multiple records and influencing our culture. After she tweeted Taylor Swift took it personally and basically called it "girl on girl hate" which was, frankly absurd. For a long time now Taylor Swift has done well in promoting feminism and she has been making massive strides for female success, but she jumped the gun a bit calling Nicki out on something that was never directed towards her in the first place. Minaj is not one to shy away from conflict and if she wanted to call Swift out, she would have just done it. This is an excellent example of White Feminism forgetting that some matters are just specific to black women or minority women and that's not something that should be a problem for white feminists. If anything support black feminist and minority group feminists in their bid to end racism and sexism.
That being said, Taylor did realise her mistake, Taylor apologised publicly and privately and she and Nicki are friends again and I for one would love to see a collaboration between the two.
The last thing I want to address is the way women are treated in music videos. The most obvious example of absolutely disgusting and vile treatment of women in a music video is Blurred Lines. Not only is the song about rape and ignoring the word "no" or absence of the word "yes", the women are also naked in the explicit version of the music video and are treated like props. It's not just pop music that treats women like this either. Hip Hop and Rap has not always been a place where women are used as props, but recently Black women in particular seem to be treated as sexual objects for men to grope or oggle at. This is just not right, but more props have to be given to the women who are slaying the music industry like Minaj, Swift, Beyonce, Fifth Harmony etc. they all manage in one way or another to ignore or even speak up against all the body shaming and sexualising of themselves and they are all winning so many awards and showing the world that women can do it too.
There is so much more I could address, but I think that's enough for today.
As always feel free to comment your own opinion below,
Until next time,
Stephanie
The first thing I should mention is that I am not in any way musically inclined, I only listen to what's on the radio and I am a massive mainstream pop fan because I love singing and dancing and that genre is easy to listen to, sing to and dance to, but I feel like for this topic it is the only section of music that is a necessity for me to look at as this is the music that every generation will hear when they are driving in their cars, shopping, or just watching tv.
However, speaking about Taylor Swift we can mention this spat. In case you haven't heard Minaj tweeted about the unjust nominations for the VMA's Music Video of the Year. Minaj's Anaconda was snubbed for the award despite it breaking multiple records and influencing our culture. After she tweeted Taylor Swift took it personally and basically called it "girl on girl hate" which was, frankly absurd. For a long time now Taylor Swift has done well in promoting feminism and she has been making massive strides for female success, but she jumped the gun a bit calling Nicki out on something that was never directed towards her in the first place. Minaj is not one to shy away from conflict and if she wanted to call Swift out, she would have just done it. This is an excellent example of White Feminism forgetting that some matters are just specific to black women or minority women and that's not something that should be a problem for white feminists. If anything support black feminist and minority group feminists in their bid to end racism and sexism.
That being said, Taylor did realise her mistake, Taylor apologised publicly and privately and she and Nicki are friends again and I for one would love to see a collaboration between the two.
The last thing I want to address is the way women are treated in music videos. The most obvious example of absolutely disgusting and vile treatment of women in a music video is Blurred Lines. Not only is the song about rape and ignoring the word "no" or absence of the word "yes", the women are also naked in the explicit version of the music video and are treated like props. It's not just pop music that treats women like this either. Hip Hop and Rap has not always been a place where women are used as props, but recently Black women in particular seem to be treated as sexual objects for men to grope or oggle at. This is just not right, but more props have to be given to the women who are slaying the music industry like Minaj, Swift, Beyonce, Fifth Harmony etc. they all manage in one way or another to ignore or even speak up against all the body shaming and sexualising of themselves and they are all winning so many awards and showing the world that women can do it too.There is so much more I could address, but I think that's enough for today.
As always feel free to comment your own opinion below,
Until next time,
Stephanie
Sunday 26 July 2015
PIXAR!!!
I have been a fan of Pixar for my entire life, they have made 15 major motion pictures and 15 consecutive blockbusters, no joke, these people know how to create a good movie. If I had access to a time machine I would, and this is no lie, I would go back to the time they were creating Toy Story (The original) just to be a part of that magic. Everything about Pixar movies makes me love them more and more.
Perhaps the only movies to come out of Pixar that I do not enjoy are all the sequels to Cars (I am including Planes etc. as sequels even if I know they aren't). But don't get me wrong the first Cars is a decent movie, it just didn't need a sequel.
In order my least favourite to favourite Pixar movies (based on the wikipedia list here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Pixar_films ) are:
15- Cars 2
14- Cars
13- Ratatouille
12- Brave (I know it's very pro-women, I just love the other Pixar movies too much, they're my childhood)
11- WALL-E
10- Monster's University
9- Up
8- Finding Nemo
7- Toy Story 3
6- Monster's Inc.
5- A Bug's Life
4- The Incredibles
3- Toy Story
2- Toy Story 2
1- Inside Out
I think Inside Out and Toy Story 2 are pretty interchangeable for me, but because Inside Out is so fresh in my mind, that one is going first.
Speaking of Inside Out, I saw it today and it was incredible, I recommend it highly to anyone who hasn't seen it yet. At the beginning, before the movie there is a short called "Lava" I cried from about halfway through that to the end of the movie. I was overwhelmed with the brilliantly creative storyline, the difference and similarities between all the emotions. Riley's life in parallel was just all done so well. And the ending was so good, so funny, so heartwarming, I can tell this will become a staple in Pixar's history.
As I've gotten older I've come around to the critical thinking of most bloggers (as I'm sure you can tell based on my posts) and when watching a movie I try to look at the positives because filmmaking must be bloody difficult, but I also enjoy looking at the negatives. Call me pessimistic or picky or whatever, but it's nice, as far as I am concerned, to be able to pick apart a movie and look at it from every perspective.
So with Inside Out for instance, whilst there was a female protagonist who was able to express every emotion, not just the typically "feminine" ones, and relationships with parents and her relationship with herself were explored thoroughly, there were no primary POC in Riley's life and no real look into sexuality (although she is only 11 and was only just beginning to think about boys and such). That being said Mindy Kaling, who voiced disgust is a POC and she was freaking awesome in this movie. There was equal representation of men and women within Riley's emotions and overall I would say I have no real complaints about the movie at all. (Except my mascara ran something rotten)
But yeah, the next Pixar movie is called "The Good Dinosaur" and the first trailer has been released... I have no comment on whether it looks good or not yet as the trailer doesn't appear to give anything away yet, but it will be really interesting to see more. (Also Toy Story 4 has been confirmed so fucking get in with that one, although they are hinting it won't be about Buzz and Woody so I will be sad because Tom Hanks is my favourite actor and Tim Allen slays all my faves as Buzz Lightyear)
So to summarise, Pixar is my favourite film making company, if anyone wants to get me to the Pixar Studios I will love you forever, and if Pete Docter or John Lasseter, or any Pixar employee wants to tell me if the rumours about Toy Story 4 are true or not then feel free.
As always feel free to leave a comment below about your Pixar opinions, whether you disagree with my top 15 list or not.
Until next time,
Stephanie
Perhaps the only movies to come out of Pixar that I do not enjoy are all the sequels to Cars (I am including Planes etc. as sequels even if I know they aren't). But don't get me wrong the first Cars is a decent movie, it just didn't need a sequel.
In order my least favourite to favourite Pixar movies (based on the wikipedia list here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Pixar_films ) are:
15- Cars 2
14- Cars
13- Ratatouille
12- Brave (I know it's very pro-women, I just love the other Pixar movies too much, they're my childhood)
11- WALL-E
10- Monster's University
9- Up
8- Finding Nemo
7- Toy Story 3
6- Monster's Inc.
5- A Bug's Life
4- The Incredibles
3- Toy Story
2- Toy Story 2
1- Inside Out
I think Inside Out and Toy Story 2 are pretty interchangeable for me, but because Inside Out is so fresh in my mind, that one is going first.
Speaking of Inside Out, I saw it today and it was incredible, I recommend it highly to anyone who hasn't seen it yet. At the beginning, before the movie there is a short called "Lava" I cried from about halfway through that to the end of the movie. I was overwhelmed with the brilliantly creative storyline, the difference and similarities between all the emotions. Riley's life in parallel was just all done so well. And the ending was so good, so funny, so heartwarming, I can tell this will become a staple in Pixar's history.
As I've gotten older I've come around to the critical thinking of most bloggers (as I'm sure you can tell based on my posts) and when watching a movie I try to look at the positives because filmmaking must be bloody difficult, but I also enjoy looking at the negatives. Call me pessimistic or picky or whatever, but it's nice, as far as I am concerned, to be able to pick apart a movie and look at it from every perspective.
So with Inside Out for instance, whilst there was a female protagonist who was able to express every emotion, not just the typically "feminine" ones, and relationships with parents and her relationship with herself were explored thoroughly, there were no primary POC in Riley's life and no real look into sexuality (although she is only 11 and was only just beginning to think about boys and such). That being said Mindy Kaling, who voiced disgust is a POC and she was freaking awesome in this movie. There was equal representation of men and women within Riley's emotions and overall I would say I have no real complaints about the movie at all. (Except my mascara ran something rotten)
But yeah, the next Pixar movie is called "The Good Dinosaur" and the first trailer has been released... I have no comment on whether it looks good or not yet as the trailer doesn't appear to give anything away yet, but it will be really interesting to see more. (Also Toy Story 4 has been confirmed so fucking get in with that one, although they are hinting it won't be about Buzz and Woody so I will be sad because Tom Hanks is my favourite actor and Tim Allen slays all my faves as Buzz Lightyear)
So to summarise, Pixar is my favourite film making company, if anyone wants to get me to the Pixar Studios I will love you forever, and if Pete Docter or John Lasseter, or any Pixar employee wants to tell me if the rumours about Toy Story 4 are true or not then feel free.
As always feel free to leave a comment below about your Pixar opinions, whether you disagree with my top 15 list or not.
Until next time,
Stephanie
Saturday 25 July 2015
My Experience with Makeup (another kind of ramble I guess)
"Oh here we go, she's one of those beauty bloggers now, this is how it all began with Zoella and Sprinkleofglitter and now Steph's copying them in the hopes of being as rich and successful as them."
Whilst that would be lovely, that is so not what's happening right now.
This is my honest struggle with makeup and my opinion of the silly, yet wonderful thing.
Let's go right back to where it all began, the first time I wore makeup.
The first time I wore makeup (because I thought I had to for some reason) was my first day of Year 7 so age 11. I did the makeup myself, thought I looked pretty damn fine with my sparkly brown eyeshadow and clear lipgloss and cheap mascara and to be fair, it wasn't horrible, but it also wasn't my thing, like sleep for 10 extra minutes or do my makeup... I know which one 11 year old me was choosing. So I stopped after about a week.
The next memory I have of makeup is this one girl from my year at school who caked her face in makeup to cover up spots (by this point we were about 13), but it just made her spots worse and I vowed never to wear makeup ever because I had clear skin and I didn't want to ruin it. (Now looking back I realise that judging her for wearing a lot of makeup to feel more comfortable is none of my business and totally her choice, and makeup doesn't cause spots, it's other things like not washing your face or just naturally being more prone to breakouts, but at the time I was like a right bitch, several of my now friends can testify to that fact, but more about that another time)
I don't really remember when I started wearing makeup again, it was probably at the age of 14 that I experimented with pale pink lipstick (definitely not the right colour choice) but I definitely wore makeup in the last two years of my life at secondary school and this was probably the moment I realised, truly, how difficult makeup and the social pressures of makeup really are.
On a typical day I would apply a fine cover of foundation, some cheap concealer that always clumped around my eyes, some eyeshadow, eyeliner (just the waterline pencil though, never liquid whilst in school) and mascara. Then lip balm because I wasn't a fan of lipstick at the time. I would apply all of this in the morning, go to school, come home and wipe it all off (by the end of the day there was never much left on anyway)
I began to notice that a lot of girls would bring their makeup with them and reapply it constantly throughout the day and they would sometimes ask me why I never did or sometimes didn't wear makeup at all. (even to this day I sometimes just can't be arsed with the process of applying makeup)
Here's why... I've just never cared about my face, it's there, it's always going to be there and look the way it does and yeah, sometimes I enjoy makeup, often I feel as though it's fun and makes me look fucking hot, but I also love not wearing makeup and sleeping for an extra half an hour (notice the time change) And I love being comfortable with my face, leaving the house with no makeup on makes me feel just as pretty as doing my makeup (and when I do my makeup now I usually go full out! It's so much fun!)
And I think part of me being comfortable with my own face sans makeup is that I don't judge others, I've never told someone they look tired or ill because I mistook lack of makeup for health issues (and believe me a lot of people have made that mistake with me!)
At the end of the day though, despite me feeling that I had to wear makeup at the beginning of Secondary school at the wee age of 11 and feeling less than sometimes towards the end because of my lack of makeup, I've definitely enjoyed learning about the world of makeup and I love trying out new products and I would love, one day, to have a professional do whatever they want to my hair and makeup to see what they would do with my natural face!
So yeah, wear makeup or don't. If you do more of one or the other then try going a week or two doing the opposite. I tend to not wear makeup unless I'm going out with friends or going to work so I tried doing makeup everyday for two weeks and it was tiring as hell! But yeah, you don't have to, it's just interesting to see what you feel like if/when you do. (This all goes for men too)
Here is me with and without makeup (pretty hot either way to be perfectly honest, and humble)
As always feel free to comment down below any opinions you have and let me know if you've had any weird makeup experiences!
Until next time,
Stephanie
Whilst that would be lovely, that is so not what's happening right now.
This is my honest struggle with makeup and my opinion of the silly, yet wonderful thing.
Let's go right back to where it all began, the first time I wore makeup.
The first time I wore makeup (because I thought I had to for some reason) was my first day of Year 7 so age 11. I did the makeup myself, thought I looked pretty damn fine with my sparkly brown eyeshadow and clear lipgloss and cheap mascara and to be fair, it wasn't horrible, but it also wasn't my thing, like sleep for 10 extra minutes or do my makeup... I know which one 11 year old me was choosing. So I stopped after about a week.
The next memory I have of makeup is this one girl from my year at school who caked her face in makeup to cover up spots (by this point we were about 13), but it just made her spots worse and I vowed never to wear makeup ever because I had clear skin and I didn't want to ruin it. (Now looking back I realise that judging her for wearing a lot of makeup to feel more comfortable is none of my business and totally her choice, and makeup doesn't cause spots, it's other things like not washing your face or just naturally being more prone to breakouts, but at the time I was like a right bitch, several of my now friends can testify to that fact, but more about that another time)
I don't really remember when I started wearing makeup again, it was probably at the age of 14 that I experimented with pale pink lipstick (definitely not the right colour choice) but I definitely wore makeup in the last two years of my life at secondary school and this was probably the moment I realised, truly, how difficult makeup and the social pressures of makeup really are.
On a typical day I would apply a fine cover of foundation, some cheap concealer that always clumped around my eyes, some eyeshadow, eyeliner (just the waterline pencil though, never liquid whilst in school) and mascara. Then lip balm because I wasn't a fan of lipstick at the time. I would apply all of this in the morning, go to school, come home and wipe it all off (by the end of the day there was never much left on anyway)
I began to notice that a lot of girls would bring their makeup with them and reapply it constantly throughout the day and they would sometimes ask me why I never did or sometimes didn't wear makeup at all. (even to this day I sometimes just can't be arsed with the process of applying makeup)
Here's why... I've just never cared about my face, it's there, it's always going to be there and look the way it does and yeah, sometimes I enjoy makeup, often I feel as though it's fun and makes me look fucking hot, but I also love not wearing makeup and sleeping for an extra half an hour (notice the time change) And I love being comfortable with my face, leaving the house with no makeup on makes me feel just as pretty as doing my makeup (and when I do my makeup now I usually go full out! It's so much fun!)
And I think part of me being comfortable with my own face sans makeup is that I don't judge others, I've never told someone they look tired or ill because I mistook lack of makeup for health issues (and believe me a lot of people have made that mistake with me!)
At the end of the day though, despite me feeling that I had to wear makeup at the beginning of Secondary school at the wee age of 11 and feeling less than sometimes towards the end because of my lack of makeup, I've definitely enjoyed learning about the world of makeup and I love trying out new products and I would love, one day, to have a professional do whatever they want to my hair and makeup to see what they would do with my natural face!
So yeah, wear makeup or don't. If you do more of one or the other then try going a week or two doing the opposite. I tend to not wear makeup unless I'm going out with friends or going to work so I tried doing makeup everyday for two weeks and it was tiring as hell! But yeah, you don't have to, it's just interesting to see what you feel like if/when you do. (This all goes for men too)
Here is me with and without makeup (pretty hot either way to be perfectly honest, and humble)As always feel free to comment down below any opinions you have and let me know if you've had any weird makeup experiences!
Until next time,
Stephanie
Tuesday 21 July 2015
The Sociologist Series: Feminism and Disney's "The Little Mermaid"
So this is like a new thing I am trying out where I analyse a popular piece of film, literature, or even a song, from the perspective of a group of sociologists. Today I have picked a classic Disney film, The Little Mermaid, and in the most obvious way possible, it will be about feminism.
Disclaimer: As I consider myself to be a feminist these are my opinions on feminism applied to this movie, but feminism is an umbrella term for many individuals who may disagree with me on this movie's positives and negatives.
Firstly it's worth noting that this movie does pass the Bechdel Test... sort of. Ariel's story does appear to focus on Eric and her mindless love for him, but she does actually discuss becoming a human with Ursula (of course one of the reasons for her wanting to become human is Eric anyway, but the discussion is not directly about him so it passes)
The Bechdel Test, of course, is not the be all and end all of a feminist movie, or at least a female positive one anyway.
The main argument for this movie not being a step forward for women is that she falls in love with a man she doesn't know, and he rescues her, she gives up her voice for him and leaves her whole family and life as she knows it under the sea for him. He dictates her every move and they get married after three days of knowing each other (of course with some set backs)
However, it is worth mentioning that Ariel was in love with the "human world" first, she always wanted to be part of our world, but she never had a real plan. How would she cope on land without a home or food or anything. So she got clever, she found a hot guy with a shit tonne of money (a prince no less!) and she got him to love her back. By providing herself with this safety net she wouldn't be homeless when she got her legs.
Well that's how I would like to see it anyway, but that's very idealistic of me. The truth is The Little Mermaid is a good female empowering film in the sense that it does give girl's the idea that it is good to chase your dreams no matter what your father or a talking crab says (and yes, Sebastian is a crab not a lobster) and it teaches girls that it is okay to be different and want different things.
On the other hand, it teaches girls to put men first, and to put all your hopes into one man and not into yourself. It teaches girls that to look pretty you have to have a tiny waist and flowing locks of hair and receive the praise of a man to feel good about yourself.
But for me there is one thing about The Little Mermaid that really makes it good in the eyes of a feminist and that is King Triton.
I know it's odd to see a man as the ultimate feminist icon (very Parks and Recreation's Ron receiving Woman of the Year) but here's the thing. Feminism isn't about hating men it's about hating the Patriarchy and one of the things that comes out of the patriarchy is toxic masculinity. And toxic masculinity is the very thing Triton, in my eyes, helps to destroy.
At the beginning of the movie, King Triton is angry and masculine almost all the time in front
of Ariel, he never seems to care about feelings or emotions or love (and rightly so in the case of Eric, like she never met the guy and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him? Kay Ariel), but when her back was turned you could see that he was stressed, he had no idea what he was doing, it's clear the mother is no longer there (presumably death I don't know if that's in the original story or not) and Triton has been left with the responsibility of SEVEN DAUGHTERS! I would find that difficult enough let alone also being King of the Sea.
Anyway getting off track.
Triton sees Ariel putting herself in danger, going above sea to watch the human world, who would definitely catch her, run tests on her, maybe kill her (almost definitely kill her) and he panics and shouts, he becomes a typical "manly man" which drives her away.
Now we compare this to the man we see at the end. He sacrifices himself for his daughter so that she can go on with her life, he doesn't tell her "I'll do this if you stay under the sea" he just does it, because that's what a good parent does. And at the very end he goes to her wedding and gives his (presumed) blessing for her to do something he perceived as dangerous. (In the Little Mermaid 2, lord help us all, he does the same for Melody, he does whatever he can to make his girls happy and he becomes a more kind-hearted person by the end of it)
So yeah, my opinion is that Ariel has her moments and of course having the woman as a main character is great (same with most popular Disney movies) and passing the bechdel test is grand too, but in this movie, Triton, for me, does the best job in dismantling a barrier put in the way by the patriarchy.
I am aware many feminists will see this as a problem as I have named a man the feminist character in this story, but meh, I think men can suffer from the hands of the patriarchy too so... yay for smashing toxic masculinity Triton!
At the end of the day though this movie has not revolutionised the way the world sees women or men, so in times like this we turn to Sebastian for words of wisdom about this place we call home...
Truer words were never spoken.
As always feel free to leave me your opinions in the comments below,
Until next time,
Stephanie
Disclaimer: As I consider myself to be a feminist these are my opinions on feminism applied to this movie, but feminism is an umbrella term for many individuals who may disagree with me on this movie's positives and negatives.Firstly it's worth noting that this movie does pass the Bechdel Test... sort of. Ariel's story does appear to focus on Eric and her mindless love for him, but she does actually discuss becoming a human with Ursula (of course one of the reasons for her wanting to become human is Eric anyway, but the discussion is not directly about him so it passes)
The Bechdel Test, of course, is not the be all and end all of a feminist movie, or at least a female positive one anyway.
The main argument for this movie not being a step forward for women is that she falls in love with a man she doesn't know, and he rescues her, she gives up her voice for him and leaves her whole family and life as she knows it under the sea for him. He dictates her every move and they get married after three days of knowing each other (of course with some set backs)
However, it is worth mentioning that Ariel was in love with the "human world" first, she always wanted to be part of our world, but she never had a real plan. How would she cope on land without a home or food or anything. So she got clever, she found a hot guy with a shit tonne of money (a prince no less!) and she got him to love her back. By providing herself with this safety net she wouldn't be homeless when she got her legs.
Well that's how I would like to see it anyway, but that's very idealistic of me. The truth is The Little Mermaid is a good female empowering film in the sense that it does give girl's the idea that it is good to chase your dreams no matter what your father or a talking crab says (and yes, Sebastian is a crab not a lobster) and it teaches girls that it is okay to be different and want different things.
On the other hand, it teaches girls to put men first, and to put all your hopes into one man and not into yourself. It teaches girls that to look pretty you have to have a tiny waist and flowing locks of hair and receive the praise of a man to feel good about yourself.
But for me there is one thing about The Little Mermaid that really makes it good in the eyes of a feminist and that is King Triton.
I know it's odd to see a man as the ultimate feminist icon (very Parks and Recreation's Ron receiving Woman of the Year) but here's the thing. Feminism isn't about hating men it's about hating the Patriarchy and one of the things that comes out of the patriarchy is toxic masculinity. And toxic masculinity is the very thing Triton, in my eyes, helps to destroy.At the beginning of the movie, King Triton is angry and masculine almost all the time in front
of Ariel, he never seems to care about feelings or emotions or love (and rightly so in the case of Eric, like she never met the guy and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him? Kay Ariel), but when her back was turned you could see that he was stressed, he had no idea what he was doing, it's clear the mother is no longer there (presumably death I don't know if that's in the original story or not) and Triton has been left with the responsibility of SEVEN DAUGHTERS! I would find that difficult enough let alone also being King of the Sea.
Triton sees Ariel putting herself in danger, going above sea to watch the human world, who would definitely catch her, run tests on her, maybe kill her (almost definitely kill her) and he panics and shouts, he becomes a typical "manly man" which drives her away.
Now we compare this to the man we see at the end. He sacrifices himself for his daughter so that she can go on with her life, he doesn't tell her "I'll do this if you stay under the sea" he just does it, because that's what a good parent does. And at the very end he goes to her wedding and gives his (presumed) blessing for her to do something he perceived as dangerous. (In the Little Mermaid 2, lord help us all, he does the same for Melody, he does whatever he can to make his girls happy and he becomes a more kind-hearted person by the end of it)
So yeah, my opinion is that Ariel has her moments and of course having the woman as a main character is great (same with most popular Disney movies) and passing the bechdel test is grand too, but in this movie, Triton, for me, does the best job in dismantling a barrier put in the way by the patriarchy.
I am aware many feminists will see this as a problem as I have named a man the feminist character in this story, but meh, I think men can suffer from the hands of the patriarchy too so... yay for smashing toxic masculinity Triton!
At the end of the day though this movie has not revolutionised the way the world sees women or men, so in times like this we turn to Sebastian for words of wisdom about this place we call home...
Truer words were never spoken.
As always feel free to leave me your opinions in the comments below,
Until next time,
Stephanie
Monday 20 July 2015
Finishing College: A Whirlwind of Emotions (Bit of a Ramble)
College is a really weird thing to wrap your head around in the UK. It's sort of a University waiting ground, a purgatory if you will. I was discussing it with one of my online American friends and she thought I was complaining about University, but College is not 18-whenever you finish your degree, here it's 16-18 and I don't know thinking about it weirds me out a little.
I'm going to break this down into sections... The first of which is called:
Friends
Let me begin by describing the positives of this aspect of college.
I discovered a great way to make friends. I walked in on my first day and met these two weirdos I now consider two of my closest friends. One of which was wearing a necklace with her name on it (this officially made her the first person ever whose name I remembered after the first time I met her) and this other girl whose graphic t-shirts brighten my day (Captain Obvious being my favourite, Lumpy Space Princess being another as it was the first t-shirt to bond me to another human being (ugh that sounds odd)) So yeah, my advice, do a quick scan of the items of clothing someone has chosen to wear on the first day of college (they usually pick it for a reason) and talk to them about it. They'll be glad you noticed and you'll have found a less awkward way to introduce yourself. BAM! I am the master of making friends (that is not true at all and I can't be held responsible for any mistakes you make)
I also made other friends, but most of my close friends remained the same as they all came to the same college as me.
The flip-side of this is that I lost one great friend to the unknown world of the college that you don't have to catch a train to. I always was quite level headed and from a very young age I knew that most of the people you meet in your life won't be your friend forever, but I, admittedly, have discovered that I am bad at keeping in contact with people. I feel weird messaging first on Facebook for fear of becoming annoying and I don't communicate well over Facebook anyway because I have a sarcastic sense of humour and that doesn't convey very well in real life (let alone on the virtual plaines)
This is where my first doubt for going to University comes in.
This September I will be leaving rainy England for even rainier North Wales. I will be attending Bangor University and the thought of being 345 miles away from my hometown scares the shit out of me! Practically all of my family live here and most, if not all, of my friends do too. On top of this the majority of people don't/aren't moving too far away from their hometowns and I feel if I had chosen somewhere closer to home then I would have felt a lot better about it.
(That being said I was going to move to Germany so North Wales is a little closer)
Depression and Anxiety
This section is definitely a little bit harder for me to write so bear with me.
During my time at college I have come face to face with the two-headed beast named Depression and Anxiety and I feel (on my stronger days) that I have conquered it, decapitated it to the point of no return, but there is (and I fear always will be) a little ghost of a whisper at the back of my mind that it could do a Jesus and resurrect itself. University is my main trigger at the moment.
Anecdote time! About a week ago I dropped my bowl of muesli and yoghurt. I never eat breakfast, but my body was craving some, so I gave into temptation and made myself this healthy food of deliciousness. When I dropped it the bowl smashed, and muesli and yoghurt splashed all over the floor and up onto the cupboards. It was at this point I decided to tiptoe around it and sit down on the one clear patch of floor and just cry! I cried and cried and cried constantly chanting in my head how I wasn't ready to be an adult or go to Uni or move out of home. (Yes I really am that pathetic ladies and gentlemen)
Of course I soon realised what I was doing and what it must have looked like and I got up, mopped the floor and cleaned the cupboards and toasted some bread (needless to say I was not in the mood for muesli anymore) and by the time my mum returned from work she was none the wiser to my little incident.
That's just one example. Another one is that I have started buying some supplies for Uni and I have boxed up some stuff and everything, and I keep it all in a closed cupboard. Everytime I look at the boxes in that cupboard I feel sick to my stomach and almost have a mini panic attack. (It's not great when it's the same cupboard my clothes are kept in and I see these boxes every morning.
On a happier note, I did talk to some people who are in Uni or are moving to Bangor like me and they all feel similar and they all seem nice so I'm hoping it'll sort itself out. (If I keep telling myself that does it go away... probs not)
Siblings
My brothers and I have always been a little bit distant from each other so when I say siblings I really mean "sibling" and most specifically, my little sister, whose relationship with me is a little bit touch and go. Like most little sisters she takes my stuff without asking and she argues with me and she drives me up the fucking wall, but like most older sisters I always end up forgiving her and we get back on track.
She is very sad about me leaving University and if you know me at all (even just by reading my other personal blog post... LINK: http://controversy-in-modesty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/my-relationship-with-working-mother.html?updated-min=2014-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&updated-max=2015-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&max-results=11 ) I am very nervous about leaving her at home as well, but I feel like she's handling it by being even more difficult to live with. It feels a bit like she's giving me the middle finger as I leave for 3-5 years, but what do I know? She's a teenager and she has her own problems.
That's all I really have to say on that matter, it's a massive:
? ? ?
Summer
I'm aware I haven't really discussed exams in this, but it's just because there's not much anxiety there for me, of course I'm nervous, but it feels pretty normal in it's levels at the moment so I'm leaving it be.
Summer is another mixed bag because on one hand I can finally catch up with that sleep I lost in term time, but this summer is very different to any other one I've encountered during my 18 year long stay on this planet. I have nothing to do... at all... My University hasn't given me any reading lists and my friends are all busy with family, or visiting Canada, or Scotland, or hanging out with friends who aren't me, *winky face*, (the winky face looks weird on a blog post) and work don't need me to do much overtime especially seeing as I am leaving in a month! (Yaaaassss!!!) so I have nothing to do, but sit at home and contemplate life as we know it... or as I know it... hence this random ramble post. (If you're still reading then congratulations)
On the other hand... I DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING! And this could be one of the last times I ever get to enjoy that feeling. Once Uni starts up I'll have summer work and because I'm spending less time with friends and family from my hometown they will want to hang out. For now I'm definitely trying to enjoy my own individual peaceful relaxation time (I'm an extrovert so this si my kryptonite) before moving into halls (lord help me) (at least I have an en suite!) AND I WENT TO BERLIN WITH THREE OF MY BEST FRIENDS SO... I can't complain too much.
But yeah, Summer is both great and horrible this year. I don't know man, maybe I'm just being a spoiled teenager right now.
I think I'm going to wrap this up now because I have been typing for ages and I'm tired. (I haven't proofread this because (like the title says) this is a ramble and I just wanted to write as thoughts came to me. There is no real structure and now clear train of thought for what I have written. I hope you enjoyed it (if you even read it all)
As always, feel free to comment below anything you feel like saying!
Until next time,
Stephanie
I'm going to break this down into sections... The first of which is called:
Friends
Let me begin by describing the positives of this aspect of college.
I discovered a great way to make friends. I walked in on my first day and met these two weirdos I now consider two of my closest friends. One of which was wearing a necklace with her name on it (this officially made her the first person ever whose name I remembered after the first time I met her) and this other girl whose graphic t-shirts brighten my day (Captain Obvious being my favourite, Lumpy Space Princess being another as it was the first t-shirt to bond me to another human being (ugh that sounds odd)) So yeah, my advice, do a quick scan of the items of clothing someone has chosen to wear on the first day of college (they usually pick it for a reason) and talk to them about it. They'll be glad you noticed and you'll have found a less awkward way to introduce yourself. BAM! I am the master of making friends (that is not true at all and I can't be held responsible for any mistakes you make)
I also made other friends, but most of my close friends remained the same as they all came to the same college as me.
The flip-side of this is that I lost one great friend to the unknown world of the college that you don't have to catch a train to. I always was quite level headed and from a very young age I knew that most of the people you meet in your life won't be your friend forever, but I, admittedly, have discovered that I am bad at keeping in contact with people. I feel weird messaging first on Facebook for fear of becoming annoying and I don't communicate well over Facebook anyway because I have a sarcastic sense of humour and that doesn't convey very well in real life (let alone on the virtual plaines)
This is where my first doubt for going to University comes in.
This September I will be leaving rainy England for even rainier North Wales. I will be attending Bangor University and the thought of being 345 miles away from my hometown scares the shit out of me! Practically all of my family live here and most, if not all, of my friends do too. On top of this the majority of people don't/aren't moving too far away from their hometowns and I feel if I had chosen somewhere closer to home then I would have felt a lot better about it.
(That being said I was going to move to Germany so North Wales is a little closer)
Depression and Anxiety
This section is definitely a little bit harder for me to write so bear with me.
During my time at college I have come face to face with the two-headed beast named Depression and Anxiety and I feel (on my stronger days) that I have conquered it, decapitated it to the point of no return, but there is (and I fear always will be) a little ghost of a whisper at the back of my mind that it could do a Jesus and resurrect itself. University is my main trigger at the moment.
Anecdote time! About a week ago I dropped my bowl of muesli and yoghurt. I never eat breakfast, but my body was craving some, so I gave into temptation and made myself this healthy food of deliciousness. When I dropped it the bowl smashed, and muesli and yoghurt splashed all over the floor and up onto the cupboards. It was at this point I decided to tiptoe around it and sit down on the one clear patch of floor and just cry! I cried and cried and cried constantly chanting in my head how I wasn't ready to be an adult or go to Uni or move out of home. (Yes I really am that pathetic ladies and gentlemen)
Of course I soon realised what I was doing and what it must have looked like and I got up, mopped the floor and cleaned the cupboards and toasted some bread (needless to say I was not in the mood for muesli anymore) and by the time my mum returned from work she was none the wiser to my little incident.
That's just one example. Another one is that I have started buying some supplies for Uni and I have boxed up some stuff and everything, and I keep it all in a closed cupboard. Everytime I look at the boxes in that cupboard I feel sick to my stomach and almost have a mini panic attack. (It's not great when it's the same cupboard my clothes are kept in and I see these boxes every morning.
On a happier note, I did talk to some people who are in Uni or are moving to Bangor like me and they all feel similar and they all seem nice so I'm hoping it'll sort itself out. (If I keep telling myself that does it go away... probs not)
Siblings
My brothers and I have always been a little bit distant from each other so when I say siblings I really mean "sibling" and most specifically, my little sister, whose relationship with me is a little bit touch and go. Like most little sisters she takes my stuff without asking and she argues with me and she drives me up the fucking wall, but like most older sisters I always end up forgiving her and we get back on track.
She is very sad about me leaving University and if you know me at all (even just by reading my other personal blog post... LINK: http://controversy-in-modesty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/my-relationship-with-working-mother.html?updated-min=2014-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&updated-max=2015-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&max-results=11 ) I am very nervous about leaving her at home as well, but I feel like she's handling it by being even more difficult to live with. It feels a bit like she's giving me the middle finger as I leave for 3-5 years, but what do I know? She's a teenager and she has her own problems.
That's all I really have to say on that matter, it's a massive:
? ? ?
Summer
I'm aware I haven't really discussed exams in this, but it's just because there's not much anxiety there for me, of course I'm nervous, but it feels pretty normal in it's levels at the moment so I'm leaving it be.
Summer is another mixed bag because on one hand I can finally catch up with that sleep I lost in term time, but this summer is very different to any other one I've encountered during my 18 year long stay on this planet. I have nothing to do... at all... My University hasn't given me any reading lists and my friends are all busy with family, or visiting Canada, or Scotland, or hanging out with friends who aren't me, *winky face*, (the winky face looks weird on a blog post) and work don't need me to do much overtime especially seeing as I am leaving in a month! (Yaaaassss!!!) so I have nothing to do, but sit at home and contemplate life as we know it... or as I know it... hence this random ramble post. (If you're still reading then congratulations)
On the other hand... I DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING! And this could be one of the last times I ever get to enjoy that feeling. Once Uni starts up I'll have summer work and because I'm spending less time with friends and family from my hometown they will want to hang out. For now I'm definitely trying to enjoy my own individual peaceful relaxation time (I'm an extrovert so this si my kryptonite) before moving into halls (lord help me) (at least I have an en suite!) AND I WENT TO BERLIN WITH THREE OF MY BEST FRIENDS SO... I can't complain too much.
But yeah, Summer is both great and horrible this year. I don't know man, maybe I'm just being a spoiled teenager right now.
I think I'm going to wrap this up now because I have been typing for ages and I'm tired. (I haven't proofread this because (like the title says) this is a ramble and I just wanted to write as thoughts came to me. There is no real structure and now clear train of thought for what I have written. I hope you enjoyed it (if you even read it all)
As always, feel free to comment below anything you feel like saying!
Until next time,
Stephanie
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